Go back to Day 1 or you will be lost
Sleep seems to be slipping farther and farther from my grip. Breathing is more difficult when I lay down which induces panic mode. The combination of my mind and panic makes it hard to fall asleep. Sometimes I take a xanax before I go to bed, that seems to help me relax enough to fall asleep. I don't really like to do that though because I'm afraid my breathing will become too shallow once I finally do fall asleep. I spend half the day trying to consciously get a deep breath but I can't do that when I'm asleep, so how am I getting that extra oxygen that I need? Maybe that's why I'm not staying asleep. I seem to be waking up every couple hours. I have the most amazing bed and bedroom too, it's like a little cave and perfect for sleeping.
David, Lily and I were supposed to spend 4 hours volunteering in Union Slough this Saturday morning for slough restoration, I canceled it. I feel bad about it but I'm running myself too thin and spending 4 hours in the cold muddy slough is not going to help me feel better. Besides, I have to cook for 75 people for a wedding Saturday night. PTA volunteering, Family Fun Night at school, dance class, birthday party, personal exercise, shuffling David's swing schedule, Dr appointment, catering, I'm totally spent. Don't have much more to say today, just tired and need sleep.
PS. Thank you Christine for living so close to Target and letting me stop for an emergency "poop and run" this morning. A nice friend lets you stop by unannounced, a true friend lets you stop by so you can have explosive diarrhea in their bathroom and then leave. love you!
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