A note from a friend

Hi Linda..yes you guessed right. No news is good news. I found myself working too much and had to quit one of my 3 jobs. Trying to enjoy life as much as possible. Been struggling a little with depression but my babies keep me afloat. Wish life came with a manual and directions sometimes. Been trying to challenge myself...started playing the violin, talk about testing my patience, but it's a good thing. Also started working out with a personal trainer. Having a tween has proven to be difficult beyond what I ever imagined. My Behcets seems to be in remission but I've recently been having some bladder issues, been referred to a urologist. Bladder problems are a family tradition so I'm not really linking it to my Behcets. Took the girls to the beach this weekend and stepped on a piece of glass...has me hung up for a couple days but almost a blessing in disguise. Take care and thanks for the hug. :) Annie

2 yrs and 22 days

hey. I'm here. I'm alive. My life went from normal to not. I decided prematurely, to be done with my Imuran therapy. April was supposed to be my final month but I haven't taken one single dose this month. I have zero ulcers to report. My lungs seem to be okay but I'll know more at my next apt and months down the road. I wish I had the energy to elaborate more on my life right now but I just don't. The conclusion is that overall I was and am happy with my 2 yr Imuran treatment. That's all.

Once upon a time I had a plan and an angel...or three.

I had a really great plan. But then I changed it and made a new one, a better one? No, unfortunately the new plan turned out to be the worst ever, it included damage to myself, my children and the people closest to me. It was rot with disaster and took me to the lowest, darkest place I'd ever been. The plan lasted 1 year and will leave painful scars. Now I face the shame of having such a terrible plan, for going against my better judgement and for ignoring that voice in my head. All reasoning was gone.

The one good thing about this new plan is that it came with some angels (and knowledge). The last year of my life has been a battle that I didn't fight alone. These angels held my hand. Guided me. At moments I think they even laughed at me. But most of all they protected me, even saved my life a couple times.

I separated from that person I thought I loved and the plan that accompanied him...I'm looking up from that place. Actually, maybe now that my angels have some down time they can figure out a new plan for me cause I kinda need one...something fierce. I'm grateful for the patience and understanding of my daughters fathers during that time, they are indestructible rocks.  

What's Imuran?

It's January and today I reflected on where I was exactly one year ago today... On an airplane, with my family, on our way to Hawaii for a vacation. It was the most horrific flight I'd ever been on. Lucy at the time was 2 and completely miserable. My ex-husband David was experiencing some kind of self induced coma and was no help at all. But Hawaii was amazing, probably not as amazing as it could of been but nice all the same. It was the last big thing my family did together before everything changed. The kids are adjusted. David is good. A year later and he has moved on. He is a soldier and I'm sure will use the experience that was 'us' as a survival tool to fight off future heathens he might cross.

The point you ask...What's Imuran? My point is I haven't taken Imuran on a consistent basis for at least 4 months. Bad news: I've slacked severely on my meds. Good news: No major symptoms have surfaced that I can tell. I say "that I can tell" because these silly lungs of mine can be tricky.

Stay posted for more...I have an appointment with my Rheumie on Jan 24th, can't wait for that lashing.